Disney, Teen Edition
We never took our kids to Disney when they were younger. I had always felt a little guilty, like I had robbed my kids of a childhood rite of passage. Then I would listen to the traumatic stories of people who had just survived Disney and assuage my guilt with the comfort that we’d been saved from an unpleasant experience.
If you imagine I am a purist who never took my kids to any of the other highly branded, money-sucking theme park experiences, let me nip that in the bud. I have blown my money at plenty of other places in an effort to make happy memories for my kids. We’ve gone to Universal Studios and Legoland, Sesame Place and Splashdown Beach and add to that annual pilgrimages to Playland, our local amusement park. We had just never been to Disney!
However, as I was planning a recent trip to Los Angeles with my two youngest kids who are not so young (now 16 and 18), I decided it was time to take them to Disneyland. In a kind of now-or-never realization, I recognized I needed to journey with them to Mecca before it was too late. When I proposed the outing to my kids they got so excited — “OMG YESSSSS PLEAAAASE MOM!” So I bought the tickets and didn’t think much more about it.
A few days before the trip I realized I probably needed to prepare for this epically complex experience. Many years ago, I was talking to a grandfather who had generously taken his entire family to Disneyworld. He informed me that he was going to explain exactly how to do Disney and told me I “could do it another way, but then I’d be stupid.” I’m not going to lie, that comment put me off going to Disney for well over a decade but in this moment, it reminded me that there is a “right way” to do Disney. So I set about getting insights from various people: what rides to take, where to park, how to manage the app, and where to get the best food.
As I shouldered the daunting task ahead, I asked my dear friend Boo for advice as she had become something of a self-proclaimed “Disney adult” in recent years. Not only did she have thorough guidance for me, she decided to join us on our adventure. My kids adore her and the prospect of Disney with Boo felt so much less stressful to me so it was a win all around! On top of our personal Disney expert and one of my kid’s enthusiastic friends along for the ride, the kids’ Tiktok research helped inform what special Disney food we needed to taste and which were the must-do rides.
As we set out that fateful morning from the Disney tram, I kept counting my blessings that I had no diapers or strollers or sippy cups. I felt utterly stress-free, an unfamiliar feeling from other big gamily outings. All the kids put on their own sunscreen, carried their own water bottles, and ventured boldly ahead filled with wondrous anticipation.
Disney did not disappoint. The day progressed seamlessly as we navigated the lightening lane system with Boo’s guidance, easily making ride choices with very little arguing amongst the group. Ordering our food ahead on the app, we could experience the wonders of a birria grilled cheese and dig into a giant turkey leg with barely any wait time. After much searching, each person found the exact Mickey ears they wanted, adding an extra bounce in our march through the park.
At each step of the way, I marveled at what a joy it was to journey through Disney with teenagers (not the least of which was not having to wipe small tushies in a public bathroom.) But two small incidents during the day made me appreciate going on this adventure with older kids.
First, we ran into a little obstacle in the afternoon. A few hours earlier we had registered for a “lightning lane” spot on a particular ride and planned around that reservation. When we went to check in at our allotted time, it turned out our reservation hadn’t gone through on the app and we needed to wait in the regular, hourlong line. (I know, tragedy right?) With little kids, taking a wrong turn on this action-packed day would have spelled disaster filled with meltdowns, tears, and finger pointing. The adults would have turned on each other under the stress of the kids falling apart and the whole afternoon would have been derailed. Instead what happened took my breath away.
The three teenagers responded by shrugging, saying to each other “that sucks” and then shuffling into the other, much longer line. They didn’t complain. They didn’t give us adults attitude. They just got on with it. When we noticed someone else in line playing a digital version of “Heads Up,” my son downloaded it and we played a hilarious version while we waited. When we finally got on the ride, the kids good naturedly mocked me for screaming at every single curve and keeping my eyes closed the entire time. They were a delight.
Which is not to say my kids are never shitheads. They most definitely are sometimes. And it’s not to say I’m never a total bitch. I most definitely am sometimes. But it gave me insight into how much impact teen development has on kids’ ability to roll with the punches when things go sideways. The Disney teens could understand there would be something good at the end of the long wait. They had the perspective to realize that the unfortunate mishap was no one’s fault and sometimes shit happens. They had the self-control not to impulsively dump their annoyance all over our little group.
The second eye-opening moment happened as the day wound down and we made our way to the “It’s a Small World” ride. The teenagers amongst us resisted going on it, but Boo told them (as only a beloved trusted adult who is not their parent could) “I’m not giving you a choice on this one. It’s a can’t-miss experience at Disney.” So we climbed aboard the tiny boats, meandering through the kitschy yet fascinating ride with, as the kids pointed out, troubling vestiges of racist tropes, but lots of cool stuff too. We all sang along to the song playing on repeat and pointed at the things we found interesting or funny. And as the kids hopped back onto “shore”, they turned to Boo and said “We’re so glad you made us do that ride. It was one of our favorities.” Yes, another sign of their beautifully burgeoning maturity — admitting that something they didn’t want to do turned out to be something they loved. And thanking the adult who pushed them to try it!
Mickey ears on our heads, bellies full of Dole Whip, and widest, sweaty smiles, we walked out of the park. As we departed with big hugs and gratitude for our fearless leader Boo, my son put it succinctly: “We would have been so fucked without Boo.” I nodded in agreement, choosing not to correct his language because, it was, in fact,an excellent use of the f-bomb. On the tram heading to the car, my daughter turned to me and said “This was the best day of my life. Thank you for bringing us here.”
I thought to myself: I didn’t deprive my kids by not bringing them earlier. Doing Disney with teens was worth the wait after all.